


Team Cap(able of Recording Diary with Friends)

by noga1290



Series: Team Cap(able) [6]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-20 02:21:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8232724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noga1290/pseuds/noga1290





	

_**Command #8093** _

**_RECORDING_ **

Dear diary,

Go to hell. My SHIELD terapist told me that I should record you, and I usually don't do what I've been told, but Clint told me that I shouldn't do it and my life mantra is 'do the opposite of what Legolas says'.

Anyway, there are exactly four things that make me angry:

  1. People that hurt MY friends.
  2. No coffee or booze.
  3. SomeBODY THAT ENTERS MY LAB WITHOUT FUCKING PREMISSION
  4. Insult at one of my  ~~babes~~   _("Tony, you need to call Steve 'babe', not your bots!" Well fuck you very much Clint)_



Well, anyway, the new villian-of-the-week has managed somehow to meet all of the standarts above.  _("Tony! You can't call my best friend villian of the week just because-" "Be quiet, Steve, it's my diary!")_

As I've began to say, the man that is known as James Buchnan Barnes  _(Note: he's standing in the corner of the room, laughing his ass off, that bastard)_ succeeded to turn my wonderful day into a living hell. 

It all began in the morning- I woke up at my bed, with Steve Rogers, after a wonderful sex night  _("We didn't have sex tonight!" "That's okay, Steve. You don't need to hide it. Wait, just tonight...?") (Note: Natasha is a wonderful partner to my endless efforts of making Steve blush)._

Anyway, I've brushed my teeth, tinkered for... How much time, FRIDAY?  _("seventeen hours and twenty four minutes, Boss." "Thanks, FRI." "A pleasure as always, Boss.")_  and went to eat breakfest, when I've noticed something in the kitchen-  _("FRIDAY, please add that I've dragged him from the lab." "Don't do it, FRI." "Done, Mr. Rogers." "Thanks.") (Note: schedule reprograming for you.)_  Someone _(Sad beeping from Dumm-E)_  decided to stuck my wonderful microwave with some stickymatter that was supposed to be a shake or something. Who the fuck puts milkshake in the microwave, Dumm-E? I should've donated you to the local college.

That was when RoboCop has appeard. "Tony," he greeted me, and I nodded at him, not really paying attention. I think he asked me something, but as I said, I didn't pay any attention since I didn't eat my pizza. "Tony, treat Bucky." said Stevie, my one and only love.  _(blush)_ "Here." I said and threw at him my frozen pizza. "Eat that, you motherfucker." I answered, as I walked away from an explosion without looking.  _("Stick to the truth, Tony." "Jesus, who invited the bossy grandpa?" "You did, Boss." "Oh, crap.")_  

So I answered to the last request of my dying husband  _("I'm not-" "You are going to if you won't stop interrupting!")_ and answered James. "I'm trying to open the microwave." and he, very rudely, answered- "I'll help." before I could protest he opened the microwave like it was as easy as stealing a candy from a baby  _("Actually, Boss, the last time you've tried it, the baby turned out as a deadly-" "Shut up, you traitor!")_.

Of course that I didn't need help, so I challenged the lovely dark RoboKnight to the superior art of all  _("Look, Stranformer-" ~~it was the best nickname ever because Tony Stark fucking LOVED the transformers~~  "-arm wrestling isn't the superior art of all." "Shut up, RoboCop.")_. My lovely, incredible, genius, best thing that happened to the humanity, Iron Man suit, Vs. some russian junky hand.

_("Coffee. I need coffee. FRIDAY? No, nevermind, you'll call Butterfingers and I'll have oil poisoning. Steve, honey... Oh, wait, it's not polite to ask senior citizen to bring me coffee." "HEY!")_

So, me vs. russian junk. Arm wrestling. It began fair and square. On the kitchen's table, me with the suit, James with the... magnetic cyber hand. I held his hand and we both began to arm wrestle. It wasn't very hard- _("Lier, lier, pants on fire!")_ and after two  _("Seven!")_ minutes I have managed to beat him.

Because our beloved supersolider  _("Not you, Steve!")_ doesn't know how to lose, he asked me for another fight. I won again. Steve the traitor took him to the side so he can 'cheer Bucky up', and I celebrated my victory as an Asgardian shall do  _("HUH!")_. Both of the supersoliders came back, and Bossy Grandpa convinced me to have another game. I should've suspect- oh, how the mighty me have fallen.  _("Tony, aren't you being overdramatic-" "NO!") (Note: James and Steve are on the floor. Can you die from laughing?)_

In the third fight, I knew I was going to win. Actually, I knew it from the first fight, so nevermind. Anyway, I put my hand on the table. "Just a min'." said James. Before I could response, that bastard licked his hand and catch mine. I tried to move away, and he used this and fUCKING BEAT ME I HATE YOU TWO HOT SUPERSOLIDERS 90 AND SOMETHING YEARS OLD.

"Stop the rec, FRI. Great take, everyone."

"Jesus, Stark, you're a drama queen. You should've been in Hollywood, making billions."

"Thanks. I think they can use magnetic arms over there, so you have a chance too. Although they only take the pretty boys."

The rest of the team watched in amusement as Tony tried to escape from the pillows that James began throwing.


End file.
